New Year Resolution

Many of us will make new year resolutions. But most of us will not implement those resolutions. Some will be finding it difficult to decide on a good new year resolution. Here are some of the funny new year resolutions I gathered. Those who have difficulty on deciding a good new year resolution may use one of the following:

I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.

I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.

I will gain weight, at least 40 pounds. My mom always says I am a bit skinny.

I will eat more nice things like candy, popcorn and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables and soy nuts.

I will play more computer games. Scientists say they're good for me and improve my visual skills. But I always knew that.

I will take up some worthwhile new habit, like smoking - it helps keep tobacco workers in jobs.

I will cut down on exercise. Too much is bad for my health, it can even kill me.

I will not bore my boss with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.

I will think of a password other than "password."

I will stop asking the help desk where is “any key” on my key board.

What is your New Year Resolution?