Introduce Yourself

(Courtesy: Yahoo)

When you meet a stranger and want to start a conversation what do you do first. Introduce yourself. How do you do that?

Start the conversation with a casual greeting.

State your name. (If it is a work related meeting add your title with a firm handshake).

Listen carefully to the response from the other person.

Simple? Not so simple. Quite a few people, when starting a conversation, forget to state their names and start a conversation on a subject that is important to them. That immediately puts off the other person. He/She would just smile and move away.

A funny incident happened with me while we were living in Salt Lake City. My wife had to undergo an operation. She was in the operating room. I was sitting, reading a magazine, in the relative’s waiting room. There were about 25 people in that room.

A gentleman, wearing just a t-shirt and pant, sat next to me. Nice respectful appearance. I looked at him. He smiled. The following conversation took place.

Someone is undergoing operation today?

Yes, my wife.

Who is the surgeon?

Dr. xxxxxxxxxx

What kind of operation she is undergoing today?

I looked at him. He was smiling. I stood up, stared at him, and said the following words in a much louder voice so that everyone can hear in that room.

“That is none of your fxxxing business.”

The guy was so ashamed and embarrassed. He said:

“I am sorry. I should have introduced myself at first. My mistake. I am “so and so” and I am the Director of Patient Services for this hospital. If you tell me the name of the surgeon and why the patient is being operated upon, I can call the surgeon in the operating room and ask him about the progress. I can then let you know what is happening in the operating room and the progress they have made. That is my job in this hospital”.

What then? I told him I am sorry for blurting out bad word. He then immediately called the surgeon in the operating room and got the information. Everything ended well.

He repeatedly apologized for not introducing himself at the beginning.

Unwanted Phone Calls

We all receive many annoying and unwanted calls. From telemarketers. From people who do surveys. From scam artists. From fund raisers. From credit companies to give us their cards. From banks to give us loans.

What do we do when we receive such calls? Depend on our mood. Sometimes we just hang up. Sometimes we just ask a question for which they don’t have an answer in their script and they blink.

I have used some funny tricks. I will ask them if they can hold for a few seconds. Put the phone down. Don’t pick it up for 3 minutes. They are gone by then.

Sometimes, I would reply in Tamil as if I don’t know English. That used to work perfectly until many of these centers moved to India. Nowadays if I reply in Tamil, and if the call is from India, they bring a Tamil speaking guy or girl to talk to me. Ahaaaa. But they are no match for me. If a guy talks to me in Tamil, I will answer like this:

Yaendappa. Unakku kalyanam aacha? Un appa amma kitta solli un jadhagatha anuppu. (Hello young man. Are you married? Please ask your parents to send your horoscope.) That’s it. He hangs up thinking an illiterate man is answering the phone.

Recently had a strange but pleasant experience. I got a call (not from an Indian center) when we were about to go for a movie. The caller said she is doing a survey and want me to answer a few questions. I told her to get lost and not to waste my time. I then hung up. I thought that was the end of the story.

But no. A week later I received a letter. Picture of that letter with its attachment is posted here.

Since you cannot read from the above picture, I will type a few important sentences from this letter.

We’re sorry if we upset you with our recent telephone call. We only want to ask you about your opinion on Radio listening. Enclosed we have included a small gift to express our regret for having disturbed you. We want you to know your participation is very important. We will try calling again. Your opinion counts.

The letter came with a one dollar bill (gift).

I was pleasantly surprised. Will certainly respond to their survey next time they call. Not for their one dollar bill. Impressed with their unique tactic. We all would make a few dollars if every telemarketer follows this tactic.

Mystery Woman

(Courtesy: Yahoo)

Nothing mysterious about me.

You guys never watch anything other than cricket, so how would you know who I am?

Therefore I decided to lead the Indian Olympic contingent during the parade of nations…so you can get some shock therapy and education that there are other sporting events in this world worth watching.

Now that I’ve got your attention, go watch the Olympics. The Summer Olympics only happens once every four years.

See you at the Closing Ceremony.

Sincerely,

Indian Jane Doe