Sunday, November 15, 2009

Hope

A few months ago I read a book titled “Call Me Hope”, written by Gretchen Olson. That book touched my heart. While browsing the web yesterday, I happen to read a commentary on this book.

This is the story about a 11 year old Hope Marie Elliott. She is studying in sixth grade. Hope lives under the pressure of her abusive mother. . Hope’s father ran away from home when she was a baby. Her mother told Hope that her dad ran away because “she cried all the time”. She has been called stupid and idiot so many times that she started to hate these two words. Her mother never said a single praising word to Hope.

Hope is tempted to run away from home but chooses to tackle the situation. She establishes a creative point system. She gives herself points for every bad thing her mother says to her. She finds comfort and inspiration from reading Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl.

Luckily her friends, school teachers, and some neighborhood old ladies shower affection on her. With their support Hope gradually begins to believe in herself. Finally she is able to confront her mother about her abusive words and help her begin to change.

People, who generally think child abuse means someone physically hurting a child will change their mind after reading this book. Even constant verbal abuse is also child abuse.

Parental abuse happens because of different reasons. They themselves were abused as children. Lack of parental knowledge. Expecting too much from their children. Financial problems. Insecurity and immaturity. Alcohol and/or drug problem. Unable to manage children as a single parent. Defective self-image. Some parent think since they give birth, they have the right to do anything with their children.

Children suffering from abuse develop a range of anti social and self-destructive behaviors from academic difficulties to depression to panic attacks to suicide attempts. Many children, especially girls, run away from home and end up in red light districts.

At the same time, there are many children fight back in their own way and excel academically. They become lawyers, doctors, engineers, software professionals, managers, business executives, etc.

This is my 50th posting and I proudly dedicate this blog to those abused kids who have become a success in their life through their hard work and dedication.

News Flash: As I am about to post this blog, the TV is giving this sad news. Anul Ram, a 31 year old Indian origin woman in Sacramento (about 75 miles from our place) has been arrested for allegedly drowning her 3 year old daughter to death. She has been estranged from her husband and living separately. The child’s father called the police asking for a welfare check of his daughter and 7 year old son. When the officers went to her apartment they found the child unresponsive. The officers performed CPR until the paramedics arrived. They rushed the child to the UC Davis Medical Center where she was pronounced dead.

Where is the limit for child abuse? How sick can some one be to drown a helpless child? Children are a gift and are to be loved. They should not be harmed in any way.

45 comments:

  1. Just realized even I touched the 50th post recently. Congrats SG. Keep writing !!

    Wonderful story of Hope and about Hope!! Strong message .. I can't think of any specific case, but I often wonder why ppl choose to have kids when they are simply not upto it! Such a shame - the case of the Indian woman drowning her infant.

    As an afterthought, I also wonder how such ppl get by their lives after commiting such attrocious acts! I hope it haunts her forever!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. As usual my words. I have read the book too :-) It was gifted by my dear friend.

    A very nice piece for your 50th post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. the story is wonderful..and inspiring...i will try to grab the book next time i go to the store...

    the news about the child being drowned is so dreadful...how can people do such things to innocent kids? that too their own parents...sigh.

    nice post with a strong message, SG...congrats on your 50th.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gr8 courage. Kudos to Hope!

    I just can't get it why ppl (could be anybody - managers, seniors at school/col/uni/office, parents, elder siblings have to resort to verbal abuse for self gratification. Many a serious things is said in joke...., but even jokes can torture!!

    Abusers end up locked inside an asylum? Hope so...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congrats on your 50th post. and what an inspiring way to dedicate such a special post ..

    abusing a child is a horrendous act and unfortunately its a common syndrome all around the world. and as you mentioned abuse need not be physical, torturing a child mentally is equally terrible.
    wonder when there will be an end to it..

    ReplyDelete
  6. wonderful post SG...I will surely buy this book and read it...thank you for sharing..

    congratulations on your 50th post... I posted my 5oth post too :))

    hope to comment on your 500th post :))

    ReplyDelete
  7. congrats on ur 50th post.. Loved the story of Hope.. It is not just bad words that amount to abuse.. but neglect also.. Nice of u to dedicate ur 50th post to such a wonderful message. How a mother can drown her own baby is beyond me!! n thanks for dropping by n showing so much concern abt my health :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Congrats on touching the 50th post! It's a great achievement and I hope to toast you for many more to come.

    Your post is valid. The way we treat children is not something to be proud of. Parents are doing all kinds of cruel things to their own kids. I wish we had a socio-legal system that did more than it presented endless papers and discussions on.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Congrats!! That is a beautiful way...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks for your comments lostworld. I have no words for these type of disgusting people.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for your comments Insignia. I never realized I have so much sympathy for children who are abused. There is a restaurant here. The owners (husband and wife) employ their children (aged 7 and 5) to clean the tables at dinner time. Once we went there at 9:30 PM, saw this, left the restaurant without eating. Never gone there again.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for your compleents Titaxy. That book moved me emotionally. Let me know how you liked it after reading.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks for your commens PNA. And,welcome to my blog. Yes, there are many people put down others and hurt them in the form of jokes. As you said they can be torture.

    Hope you visit here as often as you can.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks for your complements Shruthi. There is a system here in schools. The school nurse checks every kid each week for bruises. The teachers talks to the kid privately if they notice a particular kid is withdrawn. I don't know if they do that in Indian schools. If some one can reply, I will appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks for your complements Neha. You will comment on my 500th post? I hope your words come true and I really have my 500th post here.

    Please let me know what you think after reading this book.

    Congratulatios on your 50th post.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for your comments MM. I dedicated this 50th post for those kids who made it in spite of child abuse because I think children should be loved and not harmed.

    Hope you are feeling better now.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thanks for your complements Sanand. Presenting endless papers and discussions serve no purpose. Please read my reply to Insignia. To start with, we should boycott those restaurants that have child laborers. And, in India, schools should monitor the children for any signs of parental abuse.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks for your congratulations Swatantra. I appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Congratulations SG on your 50th post.Just this afternoon i came across an article where they say that instead of praising try to encourage your child,according to the article praising is judgmental ...they gave some very valid and good examples too.I think same way abusing a child verbally hurts his/her self-respect and breaks the morale...if only we could learn to nurture these delicate and pure minds in a thoughtful and caring manner.As a parent i always try to follow this rule...i fail at times but i try not to repeat the mistakes.

    I would love to read this book.Thanks for sharing this valuable review.

    About that news ...this lady was caught is a good news i wonder how many parents are out there who kill a girl child right there in the womb.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks for your comments Kavita. Your commentary is thought provoking. We can discipline our children. It is not considered "abuse". Please let me know your views after reading this book.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Congrats on your 50th post! Very touching!

    Some other great books with similar storylines, if you are interested:

    The Color Purple by Alice Walker
    The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
    Push by Sapphire

    I read The Color Purple and The Bluest Eye in high school. I haven't read Push yet but I do know that Push was recently been made into a movie called Precious.

    JaGo

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thanks for your comments JaGo. Also, thanks for your congratulatiaons. I sure will buy the book Push by Sapphire and read. Thanks for the info.

    ReplyDelete
  23. A touching story for the 50th post.

    Congrats on hitting 50 – which is the same number as my IQ by the way…and also the number of beers that I drank before last night’s game.

    Regards,
    Bill Belichick
    (4th and 2 from my own 28 – I SAY GO FOR IT)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thanks for your comments Bill. First I acknowledge you have won 3 Super bowls. You deserve it. Because of your success, you are deluded into thinking in your mind that whatever decision you make is always the right decision. This happens to leaders in all walks of life.

    I saw your game yesterday. The ball was on your own 28 and it was 4th and 2. You were leading by 6 points. There were only 2 minutes before the game ended. Are you a moron to say “Go for it”? What went through your mind? You can do no wrong? Hey Bill, my grand mother has never been to USA and never even heard of American Football. Even she would have said “Punt” instead of “Go for it” in that situation.

    For those who do not understand American Football, I will give an imaginary cricket analogy. India versus Pakistan test match in Karachi. India bats first and scores 200 runs all out in the first innings. Pakistan scores 210 runs all out in the first innings. India bats again (second innings) and scores 50 runs for the loss of 2 wickets and suddenly declare the innings. This gives Pakistan one whole day to score 41 runs to win. What will Indians think of the decision to declare their second innings at 50 for 2 in this situation? That is what Bill Belichik did.

    ReplyDelete
  25. A good 50th post. Congratulations

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks for your complements Radha.

    ReplyDelete
  27. It was quite a touching post and the title was very apt!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thanks for your comments Numerounity. I am glad you liked the title.

    ReplyDelete
  29. And congrats on ur 5Oth post SG, ...
    Cya around

    ReplyDelete
  30. thanks for posting this post! very nice and a must read. I am soo very inspired by that little girl hope, I really admire her. child abuse is so common and most children suffer it in some form.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thanks for your congratulations PNA.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thanks for your comments AS. You are correct. Most children suffer in some form. Let me know how you liked it after reading.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Congratulations on your 50th post...waiting to read the 100th :)
    I felt really sick after reading the news----thats really inhuman act and that too by a mother.
    You stated truly that as a parent we have no right to abuse our children just because we've given them birth. I think we should give respect to a child even if they are young....we have to be firm and strict sometimes but this can be done without shouting or raising the voice.
    Great post! Kudos to hope:)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Thanks for your comments Varsha. Yes, as you said, we have to be firm and strict to raise them properly. Occasional disciplining is not an abuse.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Thanks for posting about the book. I will try to read it. Child abuse is a big problem in our society. Hope this book allows me to understand it better.

    And it was sad to know about the incident.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Thanks for your comments Mr. Pramathesh. And, welcome to my blog. Let me know how you liked this book after reading.

    Mr. Pramathesh, I hope you visit here as often as you can.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Very nice post !Belittling a child is so common that sometimes parents dont even realise it. some parents think that they own the children, Kahlil Zibran has written very beautifully....Children come from you but they are not you.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Thanks for your participation on missing e SG.

    ReplyDelete
  39. That was an eye-opener..thanks for the candid portrayal of the different dimensions of child abuse-the emotional scars being the hardest to overcome.
    Will surely read the book.
    Congrats on your 50th post!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Thanks for your comments Renu.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Thanks Kavita. I hope I wint the prize.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Thanks for your comments Mini. And, welcome to my blog. Let me know how you liked it after reading.

    Please visit here as often as you can. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Congrats on your 50th post!!! Great

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thanks for your congratulations Nazish.

    ReplyDelete
  45. very touching sg.. great way to dedicate this post to all those and bravo for all those who fight..
    indian women drowning her child.. pathetic..

    ReplyDelete