Thursday, March 18, 2010

3 Out Of Top 5 Is Not Bad

Whenever a non resident Indian or a person of Indian origin becomes famous, we all celebrate his/her achievements. Indian media go overboard and start interviewing any one remotely connected with that person. There will be a huge celebration in the town/village that person was born. If that person was never born in India, there will be a huge celebration in the town/village where his/her ancestors lived.

I am tired of the whole thing. We should celebrate our own achievements. I was browsing through the web and this news caught my attention.

According to Yahoo Travel, the following airports were selected in this year’s list. The top 5 are ranked as follows:

1. Indira Gandhi International Airport (Delhi, India)
2. Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport (Mumbai, India)
3. Istanbul Ataturk International Airport (Turkey)
4. Anna International Airport (Chennai, India)
5. LA-Ontario International Airport (USA)

These are the top 5 “Most Delayed” airports in the world. And, three airports from India are included.

A flight is considered "on time" if it arrives or departs less than 15 minutes after its scheduled landing or take-off time. At the Indira Gandhi International Airport, only 45 percent of the flights arrive on time. The article relied on FlightStats, a service that tracks historical and real-time flight information around the globe.

We should either be famous or notorious. 3 spots in the top-5 in any category calls for a big celebration. The following are some suggestions:

A three day holiday should be declared by the Delhi, Maharashtra, and Tamilnadu Governments. Set off firecrackers in the middle of the runways at these 3 airports. The Director General of Civil Aviation be awarded the Padma Vibushan. We should resolve that we sweep all the top 5 spots in the next year’s list. The Government should announce extra bonus for the employees involved to make this happen.

Airlines should do their part also. They should tell the truth to the passengers why the plane is being delayed. For example: “We apologize for the delay. Unfortunately, the machine that rips the handles of your bags is not working properly and our employees are doing it by hand”.

Delay due to pilot shortage? Delay due to staff shortage? Delay due to not loading the luggage on time? Or any other reason? Please announce the only truth, which is “delay due to weather conditions”. When you call it a weather delay, you are off the hook. No passenger will complain.

Another way we can sweep the top 5 in this category is never listen to the passengers. Look at surveys. Fill the planes through computers. Measure success totally on the basis of load factors and revenue per passenger mile.

On the flip side, Osaka’s Itami Airport arrived and departed on time 94 percent of the time in 2009. Seoul’s Gimpo International Airport had 91 percent on time arrival and 93 percent on time departure.

We read the following incident in “”. We both laughed and laughed and laughed. I want to share that with you.

“During the "rush hour" at Houston's Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem.

Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. The passengers were then told the new gate number, which was some distance away. Everyone moved to the new gate, only to find a third gate had been designated for them.

After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and as they were settling in, the flight attendant made the standard announcement, "We apologize for the inconvenience of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., then you should 'deplane' at this time."

A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, “wrong plane." He then deplaned.


  1. Let me be the first to comment today. Really funny, even when the pilot boards the wrong flight.

    In India if things happen on time and as per schedule then only it is abnormal :)

  2. Thanks for your comments Chitra. We thought pilot in the wrong plane was hilarious.

  3. Thanks for your comments MindfulMeanderer. I am glad you liked this post.

  4. Nice suggestions :-)) Like the one about lighting firecrackers on the runway.

  5. woa 3 out of 5 ... we should hand ourselves in shame maybe ...
    loved the sarcasm in your words :)

  6. Indian airports made up 3 of the top 5 spots on one list, while we took 2 of the top 5 spots on a different list.
    Maybe we should take over those three airports and control all of the operations there.
    We’ll turn the whole thing around in one year.

    Mukesh Ambani and Lakshmi Mittal

  7. Thanks for your comments Jayashree. I can visuazlize firecrackers in the middle of the runways in India.

  8. Thanks for your comments Rajlakshmi. I am glad you liked this post.

  9. Thanks for your comments Mukesh and Lakshmi.

    Just one question. What you guys know about business? You both are lucky enough to inherit wealth and manage them with so many excellent helpers. Anyone, even my son can do this. He may do it even better than you two.

    I would rather see someone like Sunil Mittal (no relation to Lakshmi Mittal) of Bharti Enterprises or G. M. Rao of GMR Group manage the airports. They are self made rags to riches business people. What the heck. I will thrown in another name. I can do it and turn the whole thing around in one year.

  10. Hahahhahahah.. hilarious.. and yeah we are infamous for many things.. :D

    but there is another not so ugly side to our airports; Hyderabad's Rajiv Gandhi Intl airport is rated as the 5th best airport in the world. not bad eh :D

  11. When you started that 'we should celebrate our achievements', I thought, really we are going to do it! Hmmm, we are fed up of these types of news.

    The pilot emerging out of the wrong plane is the best one!

    Thanks for the laughter!

  12. sad to know this..but it is true..I have waited at the airport at least for 40 min to one hour each time especially during rush hour..once I had to take a flight from Indore and I was travelling all alone..the departure time was 18:20..I checked in; and got to know that this departure time that they had mentioned was for Mumbai to Indore and the same flight wil go from Indore to Mumbai..almost two hours I was sitting at the airport doing nothing..

    lol at the "deplane" incident :D

  13. Can be a possible situation in India! but a bit of good news - Hyderabad Shamshabad airport gets first rank worldwide in 5-15 million Traffic category.

  14. Thanks for your comments Shruthi. Yes, Hyderabad Airport has been named the 5th best airport in the world by Airport Countil International(ACI).

    It is interesting that Hyderabad Airport is jointly managed by 4 public-private ventures and one of the 4 is GMR Group. (Please read my reply to Mukesh and Lakshmi above.)

  15. Thanks for your comments Sandhya. The pilot in the wrong plane is hilarious.

  16. Thanks for your comments Neha. Sorry you had to wait 2 hours at the Indore airport. When we wait at the airport and there is nothing we can do about it makes us angry.

  17. Thanks for your comments Radha. Yes, Hyderabad airport has been named the 5th best in the world.