A Tutorial for Mr. Tharoor

We all know about Shashi Tharoor and IPL. Now he lost his minister job. I read in the web he stated he is devastated at the charges made against him. He also said that he has requested the Prime Minister to investigate the complaints against him. In addition, he said he has done nothing unlawful or illegal.

This guy Tharoor has spent too many years away from India and at the United Nations. I have been at the United Nations’ cocktail reception couple of times. The diplomatic niceties observed there will not work in India. He is unfit to be an Indian politician. He is not going to win the support of people of Kerala with these kinds of statements. He is yet to learn how to maneuver in Indian politics.

Since my job is to give advice to others, I am requesting Mr. Tharoor that he make a statement something like the following:

“I want to do something worthwhile for Kerala. But those people who don’t want Kerala to prosper have conspired against me. The cricket establishment in India has a step mother attitude toward Kerala. Is it wrong for me to try and have an IPL team in Kerala?

All these years, the Indian cricket establishment was dominated by Maharashtrians, Kannadigas, and Bengalis. Kerala has only one “test” level cricket player. Even he was slapped on the cheeks by a “not so good” player from Punjab. Are we to tolerate this kind of injustice?

I want Kerala’s backward community and minority community people to participate in cricket activities and dethrone the domination of Maharashtrians, Kannadigas, and Bengalis. And, the upper class people in India do not want backward community and minority community people of Kerala to excel in cricket. They are afraid of us.

Therefore, I am quitting from the Congress Party. I am going to start my own political party in Kerala. It will be named as the Kerala Cricket Purogamana Sanghadana. I will be the President of the party. Mathaji Sunanda Pushkar will be the General Secretary.

Our party’s goal is to have at least 3 IPL teams in Kerala. One in Kochi, another one in Trivandrum, and the third one in Guruvayoor. (ende Guruvayoorappan rakshikkattum) (Translation: May Lord Guruvayoorappan protect me.)

Our muslim brothers in Malappuram District should wait until next year. We will have the 4th IPL team there. I assure you that all the players in that team will be muslims. Inshallah.

If all the cricket lovers in Kerala join my party and support me, I will be the next Chief Minister of Kerala. I will defeat all the political parties in Kerala. Since I have lived in foreign countries only and came to India because I could not get the U.N. Secretary General job, I am not familiar with all the political parties in Kerala. They have so many parties with similar sounding names and I get confused. For example:

4 parties with the word “communist”.
8 parties with the word “congress”.
3 parties with the word “janata”.
4 parties with the word “revolutionary”.

I will bring the next T20 Cricket World Cup to Kerala. They will be played in 5 important towns: Kollam, Kannur, Kozhikode, Kottayam and Kasaragod. There is an important reason to select these 5 towns. They all start with the letter K as in Kerala.

I will try to recruit Shantakumaran Sreesanth as the Vice President of our Party. If he agrees for that, I will make sure the next T20 Cricket World Cup Final is played in his home town, Kothamangalam.

My fellow Keralites, whether you live in Kerala or in Gulf countries, please support me and my cause. Long Live Kerala Cricket Purogamana Sanghadana. Thank you.”

(SG's Note: We are going on cruise holiday. Will be back after May 11.)