Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Friends

I got the idea to write this post after reading a post (Single Serve) written by NRIGirl.

We all know the famous saying. “Make new friends, but keep the old”. We do have a problem with that. Both making new friends and keeping the old are just about impossible for us.

We meet new friends. We get closer to them. It is exciting to talk to them and associate with them. Exchange of information with new friends makes us happy. We get a thrill out of it.

Once we have new friends, what do we do with the old friends? We think we have outgrown the friendship. We tend to ignore them. It is not as exciting any more to be in touch with them. The thought of them irritates us. Some of us even go out of the way to cut off the relationship.

And then there are friends who take advantage of your kindness and use you to the fullest. You give everything to that friend. But they just escape when they come to know you need some help. Recently I heard an incident like that. Brought tears in my eyes.

There is a saying in Tamil. It is called “rail snehidham”. Translation: Train friendship. It means it is a temporary friendship as long as we travel together between Point A and Point B. It will be the most entertaining and exciting time for us. But when the train reaches Point B, it is just bye bye and never to see them again. New friendship is something similar to the “rail snehidham”. Of course, in some few cases this will become a true genuine friendship. But very rarely.

Old friendships are the ones that did not start in a train journey. It is a genuine friendship. Genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life.

Just like the train journey, new friends are gone after a certain time. Then we get ourselves into loneliness that makes us really depressed. Then we start to miss our old friends, especially at hard times. We wish they were here. We wish we could see them. We wish we could do the same old things together. We fondly remember the help and assistance we gave and received.

One day we get enough strength and courage to call the forgotten old friend. As soon as he hears our voice, he immediately says “Hi (name) How are you. Haven’t heard from you for quite sometime. You must have been very busy”.

That is old friendship. It withstood the test of time.

29 comments:

  1. Beautiful Rajan!! Brought back my memories of one train friend. I met her in a train she took me to her house, showed me the beach first time in my life. We were in touch for a very long time. But now no connection, but i still miss her...

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  2. SG, what you are saying is absolutely true. New friends come and go,but old is gold.I have very few friends.old and precious.But I make sure I am in touch with them because they know me inside out and any time when I need support they are always there and me for them too.

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  3. Very very true. Few friendships are forever, genuine and the relationship matures as it ages, just like wine :-)

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  4. hii!
    nice post :)

    there is an ancient Chinese proverb
    "true friendship is a very sweet but very slow ripening fruit"

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  5. Yes. maintaining old friendships requires effort. Nice post SG.

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  6. As you said here, old friendship is forever. After reaching certain age, we think twice before coming close to any new friends. When we are young, we never think negative things and do not bother very much and come closer to anyone easily. So even after 20-30 years, though we don't talk on a day to day basis, still the friendship continues!

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  7. Very true, real friends are those who will stay with u, thru, ups and downs. Some of my school friends are still in touch with me, they are those with whom even if I dont communicate much are still with me and there are those who are regularly in touch but who I know are with me because they fulfil some need thru me.
    Life is like that isn't it

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  8. So true...friends are gold.old or new hardly matters. Those who go away were never friends in first place.
    I think we must draw a line between aquaintances and friends and should make few friends only.

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  9. Thats a nice article on Train friend. Yeah,many people walk-in and walk-out of your lives. Yep, Time is a test of the 'friendship'.
    According to me,we have a tendency of classifying everyone we meet as a 'friend'. May be they are just an acquaintance. Secondly,as put forward by you,once an intimate bond is formed between two people,it can be revived by a mere phone call,not matter the years of 'silence' between them.

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  10. so true SG I have few friends but whatever the no may be i never take them for granted and make all the efforts required from my side,
    i have neglected my friends in the past and really repented later, now i never make that mistake

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  11. Thanks for your comments Swatantra. You are a true friend for her. You still remember her and miss her.

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  12. Thanks for your comments Chitra. It is not the quantity but the quality of friend(ship) counts.

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  13. Thanks for your comments AS. I like this Chinese proverb.

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  14. Thanks for your comments Insignia. I agree. It matures as it ages, just like wine.

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  15. Thanks for your comments Shruthi. I am glad you liked this post.

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  16. Thanks for your comments Sandhya. Strong friendship continues, as you said, even if we do not talk on a daily basis.

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  17. Thanks for your comments Bhagyareema. I am glad some of your school friends are still in touch with you. It does not happen a lot.

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  18. Thanks for your comments Renu. Many of us confuse aquaintances with friends. When a situation comes, then only we realize who is an aquaintance and who is a friend.

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  19. Thanks for your comments Rahul. Many of us are naive. If someone talks to us nicely we immediately classify that person as our friend. I am glad you liked this post.

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  20. Thanks for your comments Shuchita. I am glad you are doing the right thing.

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  21. Very thought provoking post. Reminded me of all the friends with whom I have lost all contact.
    Actually we might have been very close friends when were in school or college, but i have seen in many cases in my life,(at least) the people who were were close to me at one time were not so excited to find me suddenly in their lives. They seemed to be very cordial and aloof, like all of a sudden a wall was built around them.
    I really felt bad, that they did not share the same kind of excitement in meeting me as I felt on seeing them.

    I felt things had changed for them, maybe there was lot of tension in their lives, they couldn't be as carefree as they were when they were young.
    So although I was disappointed, I could finally understand them and let them go. So some friendships might also fizzle away like this over the passage of time, and I don't blame anybody for that.
    But the good times spent with them would always be cherished by me, and I will always think of them as good friends only.

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  22. very thoughtful
    emotional
    yes old is gold and in friend ship also.
    friends are forever

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  23. Old or new commitment is the key to lasting friendship. sometimes other priorities like family makes it impossible to maintain friendships. In my case, I don't ignore nor forget friends but mostly I don't get time to chat or be with them the way I want due to work and family commitments.

    I have many friends, whom I still remember but lost touch with...

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  24. Thanks for your comments Rama. You are absolutely right. We can go back to the place and people. But not to the time. Friends who were close to us once have gone in different directions and have different interests now.

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  25. Thanks for your comments SM. I am glad you liked this post.

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  26. Thanks for your comments Stranger. As you correctly said, commitment is the key to lasting friendship.

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  27. NRIGirl's post was very thought provoking and so is yours. I feel like I have lost (or perhaps mislaid) a lot of friends through the years, and after all this talk I feel I should go get them back...

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  28. Some of my closest friends are from my school days. We may talk to each other only a few times a year, but we can still pick up from where we left off.
    A very thought provoking post.

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  29. yeah .. old friends stick on no matter what .. but new friends of today are potential old friends of tomorrow :-)

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