College Major

( (Courtesy: Yahoo)

Many readers of this blog have already completed their education and have started their career. But if any young student ask for advice, they can give something along the following lines.

They should not select a major in any subject that involves dealing with real facts. These include math, chemistry, physics or biology.

Let us say you choose math as a major. The professor may ask the following question: A goat is tied to the outside corner of 4 yards by 4 yards pen on a 16 yard leash. How many square yards of grass can he eat? If you do not come up with an answer that the professor has in his/her mind, he/she will flunk you.

Same goes for chemistry major. Calculate the pH of the solution that results from mixing the following four aqueous solutions together. You don’t come with a correct answer you fail.

Same is true for physics or biology major and subjects like that.

My advice is to select a major in subjects like English, psychology, philosophy or sociology. These are the subjects no one understands what others are talking about and there are no real facts.

Take for example Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. If you have to write an essay on Pip, you can write about Process Industry Practices. The professor who reads hundreds of similar boring papers on Pip will think you are very different and creative. He will also view you as an “out of the box” thinker.

It is easy to major in philosophy. All you have to do is sit in a room and do nothing all day. Wear a t-shirt that says “Sh*t Happens” and take some drugs like MDMA.

It is easy to major in psychology also. In later years, when you become a psychologist, all you have to say is only one sentence. For example:

Patient: I hate my mother
Psychologist: Thank you for sharing that with me

Patient: I am depressed
Psychologist: Thank you for sharing that with me

Patient: I want to kill you, you fat slob
Psychologist: Thank you for sharing that with me

Finally, seriously, nowadays they don’t want any “expert” as a CEO. The multi national corporations are looking for liberal arts majors to be their leaders. (I am talking about U.S. companies only.) They are considered “out of the box” thinkers and having leadership qualities. They will be supervising the “experts”.