Thursday, September 23, 2010

College Major

( (Courtesy: Yahoo)

Many readers of this blog have already completed their education and have started their career. But if any young student ask for advice, they can give something along the following lines.

They should not select a major in any subject that involves dealing with real facts. These include math, chemistry, physics or biology.

Let us say you choose math as a major. The professor may ask the following question: A goat is tied to the outside corner of 4 yards by 4 yards pen on a 16 yard leash. How many square yards of grass can he eat? If you do not come up with an answer that the professor has in his/her mind, he/she will flunk you.

Same goes for chemistry major. Calculate the pH of the solution that results from mixing the following four aqueous solutions together. You don’t come with a correct answer you fail.

Same is true for physics or biology major and subjects like that.

My advice is to select a major in subjects like English, psychology, philosophy or sociology. These are the subjects no one understands what others are talking about and there are no real facts.

Take for example Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. If you have to write an essay on Pip, you can write about Process Industry Practices. The professor who reads hundreds of similar boring papers on Pip will think you are very different and creative. He will also view you as an “out of the box” thinker.

It is easy to major in philosophy. All you have to do is sit in a room and do nothing all day. Wear a t-shirt that says “Sh*t Happens” and take some drugs like MDMA.

It is easy to major in psychology also. In later years, when you become a psychologist, all you have to say is only one sentence. For example:

Patient: I hate my mother
Psychologist: Thank you for sharing that with me

Patient: I am depressed
Psychologist: Thank you for sharing that with me

Patient: I want to kill you, you fat slob
Psychologist: Thank you for sharing that with me

Finally, seriously, nowadays they don’t want any “expert” as a CEO. The multi national corporations are looking for liberal arts majors to be their leaders. (I am talking about U.S. companies only.) They are considered “out of the box” thinkers and having leadership qualities. They will be supervising the “experts”.

52 comments:

  1. bwahahahaha!!

    That's a funny post - and thanks for sharing that with me.
    College degrees are stupid and a waste of time...regardless of the major.

    Do you know what I call a person who has a college degree?
    An employee.

    Regards,
    Larry Ellison

    ~ You may have 1 thing that I don't have (a college degree)...but I have 28 billion things that you don't have.

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  2. hmmm, I am doing my masters, but in none of the fields mentioned above..

    nice humorous post..agree with maths and psychology part..rest of them, I do not even know ABC of it!

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  3. Those are some neat suggestions. I liked Larry Ellison's comments :-)

    Now I have studied all the subjects that you have suggested no to. Having studied engineering; we had 'fact' subjects like physics, math, chemistry, biology....and at the same time had these 'ranting' subjects like ethics, management, physiology and such......

    Given a choice, I would choose to rant :-)

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  4. Thanks for your comments Larry. First of all I have to hand it to you. With no education, you became CEO of Oracle Corporation. Kudos.

    Just one question. Why are you defending Mark Hurd? Anything going on?

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  5. Thanks for your comments Neha. I did not put "law" in this list because I don't know in which category "law" comes. I am glad you agree with me on math and psychology.

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  6. Thanks for your comments Insignia. I am glad you liked Larry Ellison's comments. Who Posted This? will be glad to hear this.

    You would choose a ranting subject? Cool. You are qualified to beome a CEO of a large U.S. Corporation.

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  7. hehehehe eductation system seems so mechanical... we say what they want to hear...
    nice post.

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  8. Thanks for your comments Rajlakshmi. This is a tongue in cheeck post. But you are correct. Education system is very mechanical.

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  9. It is really a funny post. I enjoyed. There is an element of truth also. :)

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  10. Thanks for your comments A. I am glad you enjoyed this post.

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  11. Thank you for sharing that with me....

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  12. College degrees?. I spend most of the time with college students. Other than what is in the book the GK is zero. They don't take initiative in learning new things. They only learn everything by rote.

    I heard an interesting thing how some universities pass their students instead of going thru' the tough evaluation process. They will throw all the papers down from the top of a building and those papers that reach the ground, get pass and those fly away, flunk.

    SG,Shall be away for few days for work.When I am back I shall read your posts.tc

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  13. SG - Humorous post girl!!!

    Well, getting educated and getting a degree are not one and the same. If the intention is just to get a degree, yes, its a waste of time.

    May be I should sign myself as "Michelle Obama". he he he.

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  14. lolz Thats a great post SG. Well an english major does drive one up the wall...a few write and millions suffer :D

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  15. Thanks for your comments Chitra. That is a good way of giving pass/fail to students. The person who came with that idea must be a liberal arts major and an "out of the box" thinker.

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  16. Thanks for your comments Geeta. My whole family read your comment and they had fun at my expense.

    I am a "he" and have six brothers and no sisters. My daughter is the first girl born in our family in the past 75 years.

    Michelle, you are right. Getting an education is not the same as getting a degree.

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  17. Thanks for your comments NRIGirl. I am glad you liked this post.

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  18. Thanks for your comments Sana. Are you an English major? You write and I will read and I promise won't suffer.

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  19. lol!The only skill required to get by in most jobs is the precious ability to bullshit..Whish i havent learnt despite my management background ;)

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  20. As a biology research student ....I am not sure whether I agree or disagree ...I think I believe when you choose a field ...you just have to believe in it...right? But I still thought your post was a good one...

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  21. SG, I am really sorry about my comment. I should stop making such assumptions on my part.

    Feel free to remove my comments ... to avoid further damage.

    The first girl in 75 years ...wow that's awesome and congratulations!!!

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  22. Thanks for your comments Bedazzled. Probably, they think only liberal arts majors can effectively BS.

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  23. Thanks for your comments Shuchita. I am glad you liked this post.

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  24. Thanks for your comments Tracy. No it is not a sound advcie. Just a tongue in cheek remark.

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  25. Thanks for your comments Aparna. What you are saying is absolutely right. This post is only an attempt to be humorous.

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  26. Thanks for your comments Geeta. Please don't worry. I don't think any damage done. I take this as a joke on me. My family loved it and I am happy.

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  27. :-) I wish you chose career counselling as your profession. I'm sure it isn't too late SG. Think about it! Scores of youngsters will be indebted to you!

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  28. Haha, I wish! Why am I not a CEO with my English degree and my creative thinking? Actually, reading your post, I think maybe I should have studied Philosophy. Sounds even more fun!

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  29. hii
    wah! i really had had a good laugh after a long tym :P

    very nice

    thankyou for sharing this with me!! lol!

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  30. Thanks for your comments Lostworld. And, welcome back. Long time No see.

    Me? Career Counselor? God help those students.

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  31. Thanks for your comments Emily. Should have studied philosophy? Me too. It would have been fun.

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  32. Thanks for your comments AS. I am glad you had a good laugh.

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  33. hahahha nice post :)
    firstly, love your blog's new look.
    nextly, I have a lot of catching up to do :( so off i go to read previous posts :)
    and oh yeah you MUST consider taking up career counselling. perfect job :D

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  34. Thanks for your comments Shruthi. Welcome back. Long time No see. Where have you been!

    I am glad you liked my blog's new look.

    Me as a career counselor? I would love to. But the people I counsel will never have a career.

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  35. thank you for the laugh early this early in the morning :):) Out of the box haaa...

    my mom tells me, during her English Major if a student proved that a Keatsian poem was Shelley's or Byron's then the prof would consider and give marks ;)

    if one has a desire to learn thruout their life, that's the best education ever

    cya

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  36. Thanks for your comments PNA. See, your mom is on my side. If she is an English major, she should have been a successful CEO. Please convey my regards to her.

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  37. Good fun:) and thank you for sharing it:):):)

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  38. Thanks for your comments Samvedna. I am glad you liked this post and enjoid.

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  39. Thanks for your comments SM. I am glad you liked this post.

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  40. very funny. I like your take on major subjects-About maths etc. And other subjects- English, philosophy etc.

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  41. Why can we not have 'untheoritical' education? But whatever one says, it is essentialand unavoidable. To some extent it inculcates a sense of discipline.

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  42. Thanks for your comments Kiran. I am glad you liked these "majors"

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  43. Thanks for your comments Radha. You have a good suggestion.

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  44. totally hilarious and i am still laughing while i am writing this. this is a definitely like like blog you wrote SG :)

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  45. Ah!! Mystery resolved finally as to what will happen if you study hard !!

    :)

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  46. @SG while this post is probably now written with any intention of putting down any field of study, I think it reflects the general attitude among people about what constitutes knowledge. Subjects like Literature, sociology etc that you have written about actually require a lot more by way of interpretation and presentation than do subjects like science and maths. Each subject draws on a certain part of the human brain. It is not up to us to decide which part is more important than the other. But I think the reason why liberal arts majors make great CEOs is that they have the experience of having studied different subjects which stimulates thinking along different lines. Increasingly Liberal art courses are becoming popular in India too. I hope the trend continues. We need more than "technical coolies" - not my words, these were the words used by the former VC of Anna University while talking about engineering education in India today!!!

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  47. "Process Industry Practices" hahaaha :P
    I enjoyed your post!
    Coming to realizations now I realize engineering and that too Bio-Medical Engineering was the worst choice ever! Imagine being flunked for not answering questions like :
    the dia of aorta is a and the diameter of the valve is b calculate the blood flow rate in normal conditions and stenosis. Propose a circuit design for heart pump.
    O_O
    We deal with this a lot :P
    So yes... I wish to have done masters in English and enjoyed procrastinating all day with relaxation and a bright career and with a happy facee rather than the forever tensed face!
    Nice blog you've :)

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  48. Hahaha you know what I enjoy psychology and at times philosopy! However some science stuff about which I dont have to appear in exam is pretty enjoyable but yes that suggestion of telling others not to take those subjects are any day a good suggestion (hiding my face while typing that) I HATE MATHS!!! Enjoyed reading it :D

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  49. Good one :-) I think at the end of the day people with common sense and those who are capable of applying concepts are the ones who are preferred :-)

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