Monday, October 18, 2010

Latest Office Buzz Words

There are new office buzz words coming out every day. Here are some new ones I came across recently. (May be you have heard them before. I am the one who gets the news always late.)

Space = Industry or Field. Example: I am in the manufacturing space.

Brand = Put a good face on. Example: OK, we did a terrible mistake in our manufacturing process. How should we brand it?

In Transition = Change from one state to another. Example: Since the downsizing, I have been in transition.

End of the Day = Uncertain point in the future but everything magically works out well. Example: At the end of the day, the CWG is a grand success.

Go Offline = Don’t bother me now, preferably never. Example: Could we go offline to discuss this irregularity?

Transparent = Open about the facts. Example: We have been transparent about the tax increase.

Bandwidth = Money, staff, computing capacity or other resources. Example: "She lacks the bandwidth to compute compound interest.

Human Capital = Human Resources, previously known as Personnel: Example: Human Capital is on the third floor.

Footprint = Impact, formerly ecological, now applicable to anything. Example: Uncle John’s rear end had a significant footprint on our sofa.

Throughput = Not your conclusions, but the mind-numbing numbers and facts you chewed over to get there; information generally demanded by a micro-manager who won't believe that you did the work. Example: Don't tell me what you've decided about this problem; I just want your throughput.

If you have know some latest buzz words, please let me know. Thanks.

42 comments:

  1. Hahahaha nice compilation SG. But as you said, these are bit old fad. Let me put few more for you.

    Boil down the ocean - crack it/resolve it = Lets work together and boil down the ocean.

    Interlock - collaborate. A senior manager seemed to have learnt this term. He just wanted to use it. He said in the meeting "Shuba, can you interlock with Ashok". It seemed so vulgar to me; I had to run out of the conference room to avoid bursting out with laughter.

    Work in silos - work in isolation

    Revert back - get back/respond. Misused phrase in India.

    postmoterm - to retrospect. Can we postmoterm the project? :-S

    Let me add if I recall more :-)

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  2. That was fun SG...and so was Insignia's list :)

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  3. Add another Indian vocabulary - Prepone.

    Good one SG as usual. (You should assume this sentence with every post unless otherwise stated). It will save me some typing :)

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  4. Nice compilation...

    When i started reading it...I remembered a joke that you probably would have read or heard...but here it is anyways:

    What is the common question between two beggars and two IT personnel?

    ...

    ...

    ...

    Give up? ...

    " Which platform do you work on? "



    PS...it is joke and no one is to take it seriously!

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  5. Aparna Radhakrishnan! I did laugh though I am at IT professional.

    SG, you too made me laugh with your explanation for 'go offline' and 'footprint'

    ~ NRIGirl

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  6. I love buzz words at work. Check my post from a while ago.

    http://mycafeterrace.blogspot.com/2010/06/boil-ocean.html

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  7. Insignia,

    I never heard 'interlock'. That is first for me.

    I hear Engineering always saying "We cannot boil the ocean." Meaning it is too much work...I would love to hear "Let us boil down the ocean"...

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  8. Thanks for your comments Insignia. I know you are an encyclopedia. Thanks for the additional buzz words. However, "revert back" has been in use in India for a long time (even in personal correspondence.)

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  9. Thanks for your comments PNA. Insignia is a walking university.

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  10. Thanks for your comments A. OK. Granted. You no longer have to say "good one". I am happy about your perception of me.

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  11. Thanks for your comments SM. I am glad you liked this post.

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  12. Thanks for your comments Aparna. That is a good joke. I liked it. Don't worry about others taking your joke seriously. All my readers know this blog is a "light hearted" post and comments.

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  13. Thanks for your comments NRIGirl. I am glad you enjoyed reading this post.

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  14. Thanks for your comments Geeta. I will certainly check your post. Thanks for informing me.

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  15. Thanks for your comments A.

    Will request Insignia (Walking University) to respond to your comment here.

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  16. I am not very familiar with your words, SG...so it was fun reading them!

    Laughed a lot at Insignia's 'interlock' and Apparna's IT and Beggar's conversation - very good!

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  17. A,

    Well, this is how it starts. Someone somewhere uses a word/phrase in a completely different context. Few hearing them, picks those words as it somehow entices them and manipulates its usage.

    For e.g. 'interlock'. Its very awkward to use it the way I phrased the sentence. But thats how a senior personnel in my team has been using it. In fact, he seems to be so obsessed with that phrase; he uses it often. He also once said "Lets interlock with them"(referring to another team)

    Boil down the ocean - yeah this was used my ex-organization's VP when he visited India. It was picked up each person and seeped to the junior engineer's level. A team lead says "Lets boil down the ocean" as he picked it up from his manage and his manage from senior manager; the senior manager from section manager and so on :-)

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  18. SG,

    Me an encyclopedia and walking university? Aww its too much. Few of my friends call me "Walking Google" :-D

    I feel embarrassed. Thanks anyway.

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  19. Thanks for your comments Sandhya. I am glad your liked this post.

    Insignia and Aparna are two of the best and brightest.

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  20. Thanks for reading my reply to A and answering him. I appreciate it.

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  21. Thanks for your comments Insignia. You are SUPER in my books on any day.

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  22. Human capital - wonderful, I love it.

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  23. Thanks for your comments Tracy. I am glad you liked this post.

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  24. Thanks for your comments AS. I am glad you liked this post.

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  25. I think, I must call myself Human capital developer or facilitator.it's funny..
    I enjoyed all the comments too.

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  26. Thanks for your comments Chitra. I am glad you liked the post and the comments. When I typed the word "human capital", your name crossed my mind. This is true.

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  27. Ugh, office vocabulary makes me feel a bit blue in the face! But yeah, offline...

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  28. Loved both u r list and insignia's.

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  29. Thanks for your comments Emily. I can understand cause you are in the academic situation.

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  30. Thanks for your comments Bedazzled. I am glad you liked Insignia's and my list.

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  31. How about this:
    "talk to that point", "get our arms around that"

    "we are in the business of creating synergies mate" "Shift those graphs" "Massage the red dots"

    I wonder what the world is coming to, it is all so weird.

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  32. Thanks for your comments Rama. You have some good ones.

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  33. Some words were new for me. Some I knew and had heard of. But an interesting read.

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  34. Thanks for your comments Kiran. I am glad you liked this post.

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  35. yeahh i have heard some these in team meeting :P
    seems dictionary needs a new version :)

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  36. Thanks for your comments Rajlakshmi. Indeed, we need a new version in dictionary.

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  37. oh if you hear the buzz words of stock exchange, you will be amazed.. there are a few hindi ones too..which i won't use here..they use words like upper circuit, lower circuit, freeze, momentum - the meaning behind these is altogether different..

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  38. Thanks for your comments Neha. Are you involved with stock exchange? I would like to hear about it. Thanks.

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  39. I used to be..not anymore..there was a time when I used to study the market trends etc al, now I just look after my small portfolio with a few traditional and conservative scripts in account :)

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  40. you need to........ people widely now seem to saying this. "you need to" - attend that meeting, have your file, get your shoes (children), take your umbrella, have the accounts ready, phone the sales office.............

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