Sunday, April 9, 2017

Don’t Get Mad, Get Even

(This is purely a tongue-in-cheek post)
 
I often quote these words from the late Robert Kennedy:  Don’t get mad, get even.
 
In the recent times I have read in many Indian newspapers VIPs (including MPs and Ministers) slapping public servants if things don’t go their way. These public servants include airline employees and police officers.
 
Then these VIPs express “regret”. Remember not an apology but just a “regret”.
 
Can the public do the same? Slap the VIPs and express regret afterwards. No. They cannot do such things. The strong arm of the law will put them in jail for many years.

I have a few ideas about how to get even with these VIPs.  Flight Attendants can do a lot in this regard. FAs, please don't resort to your usual tactic of getting revenge - spitting on the food served to that VIP or picking up the dropped food from the floor and serving it to that VIP.  In these instances, you will have the satisfaction of getting revenge but that VIP will never know.

Here are 2 ideas by which the VIP will realize that someone is taking revenge on him/her.
 
First idea is while these VIPs are flying. This involves precise coordination between the pilot and the flight attendant. When the plane is at the 35000 feet level the captain should turn on the “fasten seat belt” sign indicating a bumpy weather. The flight attendant should be bringing the coffee in the aisle. When she is near that VIP, the captain should “jerk” the plane for a nano-second. The flight attendant should simultaneously pour the hot coffee on the VIP’s head. And then say:
 
Oops. Very sorry. Bad weather. Turbulence.

If this "turbulence" happens to him/her more than once, then the VIP will get the picture.
 
The second idea is a much better one. We have read news items how foreign diplomats get away with any crime claiming diplomatic immunity. All we have to do is to find a diplomat who will accept a bribe. There are plenty of them. Have that diplomat beat the heck out of this VIP and then claim diplomatic immunity. No one can do nothing to that diplomat. And, he does not even have to “regret”.
 
You have any ideas?

As the (in)famous J. R. Ewing said revenge is the single most satisfying feeling in the world.

30 comments:

  1. Don't forgive and never forget; Do unto others before they do unto you; and third and most importantly, keep your eye on your friends, because your enemies will take care of themselves!

    Regards,
    John Ross Ewing

    ~ I never forget those who do me a favor, and I never forget those who don't!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comments JR. You are a legend. The only deal you ever lost was your death.

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    2. SG, even though what JR says is so good to read and even good to imagine.... especially the revenge one is hard to implement in real life.....

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    3. Thanks for your comments Dee. Agreed.

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  2. Funny ideas there.... I would say put them on a plane, stay in the run way and say due to technical snag they cant get out.. . Play music that gets them on their nerves and again due to technical snag it cant be switched off :D

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    1. I like your idea Jaish. Just one caveat. Your idea should be implemented only on those planes that are chartered carrying only VIPs. I know you don't want to torture the other ordinary passengers like you and me on a regularly scheduled commercial flight.

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    2. No SG, first since he is a VIP he must be allowed to board some special dummy plane that looks like a regular plane, the others should board the regular good plane, and after the VIP gets in the door should be shut and can't be opened due to technical snag, the AC stops working due to the same reason, and the some loud music is being played that also can't be stopped due to TRs. They would think ten times before they book a flight.
      Now already the so called Gai is hesitant to travel by air, although the the Airlines have been forced to remove the ban, he is cooling his sandals in AC Shatabadi. Also there should be two extra seats vacant whenever a VIP travels by air so that people who feel that are sitting next to an irritating caterpillar can use those seats. They should be made to feel like an outcast. People should find ways to irritate the VIPs without they being able to do anything. They could also be given some drink with some mild sleeping pills to keep them from troubling others in such flights.

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    3. Thanks for your comments Rama. I like your ideas.

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  3. I think the ban that stirred a lot of hatred for the MP through out the nation itself was a good Lesson. He knows now that he cannot behave in the same way next time.

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    1. Thanks for your comments Ajeya. As you said, he now knows he cannot repeat the same behavior.

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  4. The diplomat might get away but the flight attendant will get suspended. Jokes apart, the purpose won't get served.
    It's the arrogance of power coupled with lack of deterrence, that's fueling the trend.

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    1. Thanks for your comments Pradeep. As you rightly pointed out it is the arrogance of power.

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  5. How about locking them in the restroom and say its stuck and cannot open until we land and technicians arrive to fix it.

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    1. Thanks for your comments Dee. You have an excellent idea.

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  6. Coffee idea seems plausible and if that's not possible then serving or dropped food or spit-laden-food should be ok too. At least, the victims will get the satisfaction of taking revenge.

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    1. Thanks for your comments Shilpa. As JR said revenge is the single most satisfying feeling in the world.

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  7. When VIPs try to take it out on people much lesser in hierarchy, they are usually oppressed/stressed themselves. They oppress others in order to get over their negative feelings.

    One good way to deal with such situations is to forgive.. or better ignore. That'll ensure they don't get their sadistic pleasure. If this sounds too philosophical, the other ideas mentioned in the post and comments would also work :)

    Destination Infinity

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    1. Thanks for your comments Rajesh. I know what you are trying to say. But if someone beats you with a chappal 25 times, it is difficult to forgive or ignore.

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  8. Ha Ha. Great Ideas. In fact I wanted to tweet a thank you to the VIP who slapped the employee and tell him that now that he has set a precedent all of us can happily slap the public servants whom we elect to serve us when we find that the work is not properly done. And I agree that you cannot forgive and forget a public humiliation that is also physically painful.
    I firmly believe that he will meet get his just desserts.....

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    1. Thanks for your comments BB. And, welcome to my blog. I agree with you. We have to give it back to these guys.

      BB, please visit here as often as possible. Thanks.

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  9. I watched the movie, 'Jackie' just a couple of days back and saw Robert Kennedy in that movie. He seemed to be a good, intelligent fellow.

    Pouring coffee is the best revenge. Ignoring him altogether is another. They can't tolerate it:)

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    1. Thanks for your comments Sandhya. Your suggestion is also a good one.

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  10. These VIPs deserve a complete boycott. Nice post

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    1. Thanks for your comments Ankita. I support you 100%. These guys should be completely boycotted.

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  11. Replies
    1. Thanks for your comments Sindhu. I am glad you enjoyed this post.

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  12. Haha these are some nice ways of taking revenge. :)
    -Avada Kedavra

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  13. Replies
    1. I am not evil. HaHaHa.
      will write an email.

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  14. Funny ideas,SG.Vengeance will shoot up our pressure. Just ask a teenage friend to elaborate the incident in the social meadias.People will take it in hand.The avengers can escape disciplinary action.

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