Thursday, February 11, 2010

Improving English Spelling

(Just got this important announcement in the email. Thought I should share this with y’all)

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

27 comments:

  1. Ich bin ein Berliner.

    Regards,
    John F. Kennedy

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  2. Thanks for your comments President JFK. You are a true hero.

    However, even after these years you did not correct the mistake you made in 1963. Actually you wanted to say “I am a citizen of Berlin”. The correct German translation is “Ich bin Berliner”.

    There is a type of jelly doughnut made in Berlin, The brand name of that doughnut is “Berliner”. You added “ein” in your sentence and said “Ich bin ein Berliner”. The actual meaning of this is “I am a jelly doughnut”.

    I have to give you credit for trying to speak German. German grammar is more difficult than Sanskrit grammar.

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  3. I have come across this earlier too...dont recall where. Guess as an email forward. Nevertheless, thanks for sharing. Refreshes memory!

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  4. Thanks for your comments Insignia. I received this in the email too.

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  5. wah..it will become a new language and again confusing for people like us.

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  6. I think this will help people who have problems with spellings.

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  7. This ees funny. What will happen to the writing style guide?

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  8. The Queen's language is in for some serious mutilation.

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  9. :) definitely made me smile :D

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  10. Thanks for your comments Antarman. At last, a new language has born.

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  11. Thanks for your comments MindfulMeanderer. It is very Konfusing alright.

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  12. Thanks for your commens Chitra. We are here to help solve people's problems with spelling.

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  13. Thanks for your comments Radha. Vat vil happen to the writing style guide? That is a good question.

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  14. Thanks for your comments lostworld. The mutilation has already started. In England, they are doing away with apostrophe.

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  15. Thanks for your comments Titaxy. I am glad you enjoyed reading this.

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  16. Thanks for your comments Nazish. I am glad you liked it.

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  17. Thanks for your comments Ammara. And, welcome to my blog. I wrote in the beginning:

    "(Just got this important announcement in the email. Thought I should share this with y’all)"

    Ammara, please visit here as often as you can. Thanks.

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  18. LOL...thanks for sharing.Happy weekend.

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  19. I had received this e-mail too..:)

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  20. Thanks for your comments Kavita. Happy weekend to you too. Here it is a 3-day weekend (Monday is a holiday due to President's Day).

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  21. Thanks for your comments Neha. I am glad you also received this email. I think not from the same person who sent it to me.

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  22. if u had noticed.. i think i follow certain rules of the euro english already.. jus a few more rules to incorporate n i can add 1 more language to my list..

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  23. Thanks for sharing this ..... its amusing to think that Gen next will not quite write in the same way that we do ....

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  24. phoenetics sorry fonetiks ki jai jo :-)

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