Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Funny Quotations

We often read funny quotations. We just smile and move on. Some is so funny we remember them. Here are a few funny quotations I remember:

Albert Einstein: Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Franklin P. Jones: The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

John Peers: Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.

Oscar Wilde: Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Whitney Brown: I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Will Rogers: Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.

Samuel Goldwyn: Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.

Robert Benchley: Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.

G. K. Chesterton: Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.

Katherine Hepburn: I don’t care what is written about me as long as it isn’t true.

Homer Simpson: You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

Mae West: Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

Groucho Marx: I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

George W. Bush: Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?

Jeanne-Marie Roland: The more I see of men, the more I like dogs.
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35 comments:

  1. TitaxyAugust 17, 2010 at 5:03 PM

    ROFL. Total laughter riot, this post. :)

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  2. SGAugust 17, 2010 at 6:52 PM

    Thanks for your comments Titaxy. I am glad you liked this post. Of all the quotations, I liked George Bush's. His dad should have asked that question.

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  3. AmritAugust 17, 2010 at 7:16 PM

    Quotes about marriage and human are not 'funny'.....:) They are the best quotes.

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  4. SGAugust 17, 2010 at 8:15 PM

    Thanks for your comments A. I am glad you liked these quotes.

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  5. chitraAugust 17, 2010 at 8:20 PM

    Good post.
    Coffee isn't my cup of tea- Liked that one very much.

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  6. AparnaAugust 17, 2010 at 8:37 PM

    Great post...
    The joke that I never ever seem to forget is what George Bernard Shaw replied to a beautiful lady.
    Lady: "Imagine our child with your brains and my beauty."
    His reply, "Imagine what would happen if the child got my beauty and your brains".
    And so he remained a bachelor...btw, I am not sure how true the story is...

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  7. SGAugust 17, 2010 at 9:17 PM

    Thanks for your comments Chitra. Samuel Goldwyn, founder of MGM Studios in Hollywood, was a funny guy.

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  8. SGAugust 17, 2010 at 9:19 PM

    Thanks for your comments Aparna. This is super. I love it.

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  9. SamvednaAugust 17, 2010 at 9:32 PM

    Coffee and from Kathering Hepburn..these two are best:)

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  10. Ankita August 18, 2010 at 2:05 AM

    hii

    nice and interesting!

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  11. radhaAugust 18, 2010 at 4:36 AM

    I like Groucho Marx. You can read his quotes all the time and still find them funny.

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  12. SGAugust 18, 2010 at 5:50 PM

    Thanks for your comments Samvedna. I am glad you liked these quotations.

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  13. SGAugust 18, 2010 at 5:51 PM

    Thanks for your comments A S. And, welcome back. Long time no see. I am glad you liked this post.

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  14. SGAugust 18, 2010 at 5:52 PM

    Thanks for your comments Radha. All the Marx brothers are a riot.

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  15. lostworldAugust 19, 2010 at 6:57 AM

    Very SG-like post. :):)

    p.s. - Sorry bout my absence. My laptop was virus infected & I was changing projects at work so couldn't manage time to post or read yours :(

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  16. SGAugust 19, 2010 at 8:59 AM

    Thanks for your comments lostworld. I am glad you are back. I was wondering what happened to you. I am happy your laptop is working now. You can now visit here more often.

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  17. Latha NairAugust 19, 2010 at 9:48 AM

    You've hand-picked the best quotes-guaranteed to bring a chuckle.I love Mark Twain's quotes as well-they are wickedly delicious

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  18. RahulAugust 19, 2010 at 7:37 PM

    lol! ...nice pick of funny quotes, like the quote on Punctuality by Jones, very true!

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  19. SGAugust 19, 2010 at 7:46 PM

    Thanks for your comments Latha. I am glad you like Mark Twain’s quotes.

    I have a trivia here. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. It is always cold in San Francisco. Even during summer. Lot of people mistakenly think summer in San Francisco is hot. This is a famous quote from Mark Twain. "The coldest winter I ever saw was the summer I spent in San Francisco."

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  20. SGAugust 19, 2010 at 7:49 PM

    Thanks for your comments Rahul. I am glad you liked Franklin Jones' quotes. I like his quotes so much that I am thinking of writing another post with just his quotes only.

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  21. A New BeginningAugust 19, 2010 at 8:34 PM

    lolz Incredible!!!

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  22. UrmiAugust 19, 2010 at 8:53 PM

    Very nice, funny, excellent and interesting post. Liked it very much.

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  23. kiran sawhneyAugust 19, 2010 at 9:33 PM

    Very witty, funny, meaningful quotes. They have depth, yet have been put across with a lot of humor.

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  24. sulagna August 19, 2010 at 9:43 PM

    the more i see of men the more i like dogs...hai re..and you have the Pilot???? m soo jealous..and the you also went on a cruze...m soo jealous SG!!

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  25. SGAugust 19, 2010 at 9:50 PM

    Thanks for your comments Sana. I am glad you liked this post. What are you doing here? You must be busy planning your wedding.

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  26. SGAugust 19, 2010 at 9:51 PM

    Thanks for your comments Babli. I am glad you liked this post.

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  27. SGAugust 19, 2010 at 9:52 PM

    Thanks for your comments KIran. Complements from you is an honor for me.

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  28. SGAugust 19, 2010 at 10:01 PM

    Thanks for your comments Sulagna. Please don’t be jealous. Please visit us. We will take you and entertain you on a cruise. That will be on us. Also, a safari ride in our Honda Pilot. We love and have plenty of vodka.

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  29. sulagna August 19, 2010 at 10:07 PM

    hehehehe..i knowww you ahs said last time that the wifey and i will get along really well..and then when i get drunk oh beleive me..we will never run out of entertainment..pilot **sigh**

    definitely ya..my sisterin law stays in freemont CA...dont kow how far is your place..but i promise the next US trip,,apple vodka at your place..

    thank you ya...really thank you

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  30. SGAugust 19, 2010 at 10:15 PM

    No problamo Sulagna. Fremont is only 35 minutes drive from our place. A case of Apple Vodka is waiting for you and G. And, we have couple extra bedrooms so you don't have to drive back.

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  31. sulagna August 19, 2010 at 10:22 PM

    wowwiiiiawesome!! that close ha :) amazing..the world is a small place..n m gonna get my lil princess shikha adhikari, my niece..when m there, i cant stay away from her..sh will b happy with marshmallows :)

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  32. SandhyaAugust 20, 2010 at 6:59 AM

    Each and every quote is funny and interesting, SG! 'Samuel Goldwyn: Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.' Ahaa! Hepburn's too!

    Jean Marie...Very true!

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  33. SGAugust 20, 2010 at 7:15 AM

    Thanks for your comments Sulagna. Marshmallows are also ready.

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  34. SGAugust 20, 2010 at 7:17 AM

    Thanks for your comments Sandhya. I knew someone will comment on the quote by Jeanne-Marie.

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  35. shuchitaAugust 22, 2010 at 8:41 PM

    I love the Einstein one lolz

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