Thursday, August 27, 2009

Elderly Parents

Just read a sad story about an elderly couple near Kolkata. Samar Moulik (75) and his wife, Bharathi (62) have written to Baguiati police station asking for permission to commit suicide.

They have 2 boys and a girl. The girl is married and living in Lucknow. One son, Shankar, is living in South Africa. Another son, Soumen, is living in a suburb of Kolkata. Mr. Moulik worked for BHEL. He is retired and received no pension.

Mr. Moulik inherited a plot in Hridayapur. Soumen allegedly grabbed the plot. The couple built a small house on another plot and started living there. Mr. Moulik’s elder brother allegedly drove them out. They were then living in a rental place.

They are financially broke. Their 3 children just ignored them. They did not provide any financial help or emotional support. They are very much depressed and wanted to commit suicide. That is why they approached the Baguiati police station. Inspector Gautam Mitra has written a letter to Soumen requesting him to help his parents.

I thought these kinds of things happen only in movies. In my opinion, it is the responsibility of children to take care of their elderly parents. We come into this world as small helpless babies. Who took care of us when we were born? Every one should have the sense of love and desire to take care of elderly parents.

Children, especially sons, change a lot after their marriage. Some remain the same as mama’s boy and treat their wives very badly. Some more of them come under the spell of their wives and begin to completely neglect the parents and also disrespect them. They do not even visit them. If the parents happen to live in their house, they are treated as slaves and unpaid servants.

There are many children who really love and respect their elderly parents.

I can understand some rare exception. There have been instances when a child was verbally and physically abused by the parent (especially a single parent). It is understandable if that child ignores the parent, after growing up. You cannot verbally and physically abuse a child and expect that child to take care of you when you are old.

I have seen parents who gave up everything and showered love and affection on their children. They made financial sacrifice so that their children get a good education. And, those children after growing up neglect and ignore their parents. But one thing they have to remember. They are also growing older every day and they will also receive the same fate.

43 comments:

  1. Its very sad and these children should be hanged till death beacause if they are not good children how they can be good parents.I want to know what happened later your story is stillnot complete

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  2. I strongly favor every child should support his elderly parents. However, this couple going to the police station to ask their “permission” to commit suicide is a little too much sensationalizing.

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  3. hi SG
    it was a heart warming post.. its the very sad reality of our society..I feel ditching is the very tendency of humans, everyone loves physical things not the family. such incidences are very common. i have myself seen the poor treatment of the elderly in their own house by their young daughters- in-law. but if the elderly have a good will, then the scene would be totally different. world revolves around money, thats it!

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  4. Thanks for your post Shilpa.

    As far as I know, his colleague in BHEL, Mr. Prabhat Das took this couple to his home and keeping them there.

    Since I live in USA, I don't know the latest situation. Perhaps, someone living in India can provide more current info.

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  5. Thanks for your comments Vivek. As I said before, please don't be bashful.

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  6. Thanks for your comments AS. I am speechless. I totally agree with you.

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  7. People are selfish.

    Parents neglecting children for their selfish needs and to feed their stupid ego, children neglecting parents forgetting the sacrifices they made to bring them up....

    Devilish!!

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  8. Its very sad to see so much erosion of values in young people.

    I have seen that today boys care for their parents, but their wives make such ar ruckus about everything that they become helpless..due to various reasons..like children or sometimes the girls harass the family due to dowry laws.
    I think its high time that girls and their parents are given counselling.....as they are the main culprit.the same girls who are called to affectionate and caring by their parents and they are to them, become very selfish and indifferent to the plight of their inlaws.
    sorry for a long coment and that to by a new comer.

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  9. a hard core truth of our society...I have seen so many people suffering because of the ill-treatment from either children or in laws...as a lawyer also I come across so many such cases...one of the cases, the father was suffering from cancer and he he was to die, and the son was abusing him for not transfering the property in his name...and his son did this in front of us when we were there to make the will...

    nice post...thank you for sharing..

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  10. Yeah these things do happen in real life; have seen it :( I sometimes visit an old age home here in Bangalore and feel miserable when I hear stories about how they were abandoned by their children. Extremely sad.
    This was a heartwarming post. thanks for sharing it, SG

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  11. This happens...and most of the old age homes u have parents being victim of this.

    How u behave with your parents the same way your kids will behave with u when they'll grow up.
    Its really sad!!

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  12. such a shame...don't understand how someone can let the elderly to suffer, esp when they are so closely related to you..don't know what to say..it's just too sad.

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  13. Thanks for your comments Insignia. Yes, in some rare cases, parents neglect and abuse their children. So sad for those kids.

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  14. Thanks for your comments Renu. And, welcome to my blog. What you say is very true. Please don't worry about making a long comment. Your comments, however long, are very welcome.

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  15. Thanks for your comments Neha. Yes, there are inhuman people like that.

    Talking about cancer, just this incident comes to my mind. Newt Gingrich (former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives and one time Presidential hopeful) pressed his wife to sign divorce papers while she was still in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery.

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  16. Thanks for your comments Shruthi. Old age homes bring tears.

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  17. Thanks for your comments. As you said, history will repeat.

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  18. I should have said: Thanks for your comments Nazish.

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  19. Thanks for your comments Titaxy It is very sad.

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  20. You know that is just a damn shame to see elderly people in this situation.
    In fact, it is sad to see anyone become “financially ruined” at any age.

    Regards,
    Bernie Madoff

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  21. Wow, that is a gut wrenching story.
    I can’t believe the children were so cruel to their parents.
    After everything the parents did for the kids, this is how the kids treat them?

    Regards,
    Lyle Menendez and Erik Menendez

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  22. Thanks for your comments Bernie. You are not Madoff. You Made-off.

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  23. Thanks for your comments Lyle and Erik. My heart goes for you two because you two became an orphan at such a young age. sob. sob.

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  24. I felt very sad after reading the story. But it has become very common everywhere, now, SG.

    We should show our love physically, to our children in their growing up stage. Then the children also will reciprocate in our old age. If the children are selfish by nature, no one can change them.

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  25. Thanks for your comments Sandhya. You are correct.

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  26. Completely agree with you...Very well written post!

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  27. Thanks for your comments Disha. And, welcome to my blog.

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  28. hmm.. Thanks for ur suggestion at my blog. appreciate it :)

    Hmm i hopped by to say thanks and was drawn to ur post. really sad abt parents having to be in that situation.

    Any updates abt that old couple??

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  29. Thanks for your comments Shruti. I will try to get some update. May be someone living in India can help.

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  30. touching reality..interestingly, this has been the state of affairs for generations..good post..and thanks friend...

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  31. Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving your comments.
    Very touching post....my heart goes out to the parents. On a different note, people (man or woman) change when their priorities in life change....it is not the spouse that causes the change but the changed set of circumstances and responsibilities. That said, I absolutely agree that every person has a moral responsibility to look after his/her parent.

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  32. Thanks for your comments Ramesh.

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  33. Thanks for your comments Jayashree. And, welcome to my blog.

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  34. Very beautifully portrayed about the true fact. I liked the post and its very touching and emotional. It should be the responsibility for the children to take care of their elderly parents and not to ignore and neglect them. Parents struggles a lot and they face very difficult situation to bring up their children and we should never ever forget it.

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  35. hey friend..how did u use the line "kandathum kaadal". i was laughing..how is your tamil connection? just eager regional chauvnist..hey jus joking yar..take care..cheers

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  36. Thanks for your comments Babli. We should not forget the sacrifices made by our parents.

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  37. Thanks Ramesh. I was born in Tamilnadu. I grew up there for sometime. I can read, write, and speak Tamil. And, here at home, we speak in Tamil only.

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  38. areee madrasiiii...hugs..take care and best wishes always..

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  39. Good Post! The lesson learnt is, always secure your future, just like you secure your child's. You never know whats in store!!!!

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  40. GOSH! That's so inhuman! There are problems between parents and kids but this is the worst way to handle it.That's what, everyone will sing praises about Indian culture and values, but when the time comes to follow them, people behave like this. We all are hypocrites:(

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  41. Thanks for your comments Jyothi. And, welcome to my blog. Yes, we should always secure our future.

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  42. Thanks for your comments Varsha. That was very inhuman.

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  43. You are right. I too believe that every one needs to respect, love and take care of their parents. It is because of their sacrifices that most children have grown up with so many comforts in life and got good education and lifestyle. Once we grow up, how can we stop caring for parents just like that, as if their sacrifices meant nothing at all?

    Like you rightly stated, all of us need to remember what we give comes back to us, manifold. If we treat our parents badly, don't worry, our kids will do that, ten times more. The choice is ours to make.

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