Sunday, August 7, 2016

Rio Summer Olympics

The 2016 Summer Olympics is now underway in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. The previous one in 2012 was in London, England. At that time, Britain’s tourism agency had issued guidelines on the etiquette of dealing with thousands of foreign visitors who would come to attend the games. The advice that were given by the tourism agency was for those who were likely to work with tourists arriving from foreign countries. This includes people such as hotel staff, taxi drivers, etc.
 
I think most of the guidelines issued by them are still applicable to Rio Olympics also.
 
I am reposting some of the guidelines: (My own interpretation is given in brackets)
 
For people from the Middle East – Never be bossy with them. They are not used to being told what they can’t do. (Sir, please don’t strap that bomb on your chest while you are in my taxi. I am just making a request, Sir.)
 
For the Polish – They don’t like be stereotyped as drunks. (Would you like a tall glass of Vodka with your breakfast, Sir?)
 
For the French – They are very picky in restaurants. (No Sir, we don’t have escargot here and no croissants as well. However we do have FRENCH fries and FRENCH bread.)
 
For the Argentineans – They don’t like jokes about their clothing or weight. (Sir, please use the stairs when you are going up to your hotel room. Our elevators have a weight limit. Also, please remember that only wearing underwear and black business socks is not appropriate attire at our swimming pools.)
 
For Indians - They are in general, an impatient lot, and like to be quickly attended to. The more affluent they are, the more demanding and brusque they tend to be. They also don't like being touched by strangers and may be suspicious about the quality of food. (I don’t vant to stand in queue. I vant my dal and rice immediately. Don’t touch me. My mommy will be mad. I have to call her and explain to her vhy you touched me. I don’t like Feijoada. All I vant is 2 idlis and 3 buckets of sambar.)
 
China and Hong Kong – Winking or pointing with an index finger is rude. They don’t like to talk about failure, poverty, or death. They are unimpressed by the landmarks that are only a few hundred years old. (Thank you Sir, for building HUGE and impressive Olympic buildings in 2008 for the Beijing Olympics. I hear that they are unused and failing miserably. Welcome to Rio. We (pointing to my chest) won’t make the same mistake as you. (pointing with index finger) wink, wink)
 
For Mexicans – Don’t discuss poverty, immigration or earthquakes. They prefer to talk about history and art. (Sir, I would like to hear about the history of East Los Angeles. Sir, do you personally know Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio?)
 
For  Canadians – They will be annoyed about being mistaken for an American. (Sir, I will never mistake you for an American. So far you have spoken 3 sentences and all of them ended with “eh”. My name is John Doe, eh. You are also here for the Olympics, eh. I like pizza, eh.)
 
For Americans – They are so informal to the point of being very direct. They won’t hesitate about complaining. (Now that we are in Rio, I want some real American food. Where can I get a burrito or some pizza? Why is everyone a foreigner in Rio? I am going to enjoy this vacation…even if it’s going to kill me.)

40 comments:

  1. That's not fair...We Indians are not like that...;) ..First time here, enjoyed a good read...

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    1. Thanks for your comments Jzt. And, welcome to my blog. These guidelines were issued by British Tourism Agency. I just added my own "attempted" humor.

      Jzt, Please visit here as often as possible. Thanks.

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  2. What they have said about the Indians is somewhat true.A useful post.

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    1. Thanks for your comments Sarala. I agree with you.

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  3. LOL @ Chinese being unimpressed with landmarks that are just a few hundred years old.

    Destination Infinity

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    1. Thanks for your comments Rajesh. They are unimpressed with any landmarks that are a few hundred years old. I wonder what do they think of their own 2008 Olympic buildings.

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  4. Haha,some of these are really funny:)

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    1. Thanks for your comments Sara. And, welcome to my blog. I am glad you enjoyed reading this post.

      Sara, please visit here as often as possible. Thanks.

      Delete
  5. Canadians: A funny lot! What you said about Indians is true. I love croissant, burrito and pizza too...but finding vegetarian food is a bit difficult!

    I liked the Canadian's language! Enjoyed the compilation!

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    1. Thanks for your comments Sandhya. I am glad you liked this post. Yea, Burrito and Pizza are "real' American food. Hahaha.

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  6. The guidelines and the annotations particularly were hilarious

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    1. Thanks for your comments Mr. KP. I am glad you liked this post.

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  7. I can vouch for the Indiannesssss..the whole world is a stage with so much diversity...loved the fun quotient on the language and reminded me of Gabriel Iglesias...

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    1. Thanks for your comments Sunita. And, welcome to my blog. I am glad you liked this post. Fluffy is a great comedian and actor.

      Sunita, please visit here as often as possible.

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  8. Hilarious. You didn't mention Indians' Olympic size luggage, complete with homemade pickles.

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    1. Thanks for your comments Sweety. I sure will add this when I write about 2020 Summer Olympics.

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  9. Hilarious.
    Along with the FRENCH fries and FRENCH bread you forgot the French Toast.

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    1. Thanks for your comments Haddock. I sure will add this when I write about 2020 Summer Olympics.

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  10. Loved the blog ! Indians absolutely classy explanation :) UAE I agree tooo

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    1. Thanks for your comments Shilpa. I am glad you liked this post.

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  11. Hilarious Blog SG, i read it at a time i desperately needed a break. Thanks for providing that.... i vant my thair chadam LOL

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    1. Thanks for your comments Dee. Glad you enjoyed this post.

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  12. Good interpretations in brackets
    Not sure if all Indians or all other country dwellers are like that but guidelines actual and interpretations seem funny to me

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    1. Thanks for your comments Afshan. These were general guidelines issued by the British Government.

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  13. That's some fun and funny interpretations. Do Indians behave like that when abroad? *Looking with shocked cum amused expression* :))

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    1. Thanks for your comments Shilpa. I am glad you liked the interpretations. These are just "profiles".

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  14. :-D loved every one of it. 2 idlis and 3 buckets of sambhar! How true :-D

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    1. Thanks for your comments Insignia. I am glad you liked this post.

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  15. He he he he ... Nice one .. enjoyed :)

    Bikram's

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    1. Thanks for your comments Bikram. I am glad you enjoyed this post.

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  16. Very well said SG :)

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    1. Thanks Arun for your comments SG. Long time no see. I am glad you liked this post..

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  17. Lol:)..best is pizza ,burrito ..american food:)

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  18. Thanks for your comments Renu. Pizza and Burrito - aren't they the best American food! HeHeHe.

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  20. ROFL ....fun fun read ...all the descriptions ...clap clap :D

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  21. hahaha! that cracked me up and Indians are described bang on! More affluent means more arrogant, both factors are directly proportional to each other! lol

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