Security in General

Just read in an Indian newspaper that the Trichy Airport will be closed for visitors until July 7. It is as a result of a terrorist attack in an airport in Istanbul, Turkey.

 

I am wondering if these government guys “room potta yosipanga?”. The English translation is “do they reserve a room and meet there to think like this?” It is a metaphor for idiotic thinking.

 

I can understand if they tighten the airport security. I can understand if they close the airport for visitors PERMANENTLY. What is the benefit of closing the airport for visitors for a week or 10 days only? Did the terrorists tell them “hey, we will be in Trichy until July 7 and then we are moving on”.

 

The reason for writing this post is I am still angry at what happened two years ago.

 

Two years ago we visited Madurai. Photography is allowed inside the Meenakshi Amman Temple for a fee. But we could not take any photo inside the Temple and Aayiram Kaal Mandapam (Hall of Thousand Pillars) because the week before our visit, there was some bomb blast in Hyderabad. Therefore, they prohibited any camera inside the Temple temporarily for 10 days. If they banned cameras permanently I can live with it. I do not understand the logic of temporarily banning cameras inside this Temple for 10 days as a result of a bomb blast in Hyderabad.

 

There is a saying in Tamil “Kumbakonathil idi idithaal Kutralathil mazhai peyyum”. In my English translation, I will change the names of the cities for better understanding. Here goes: If there is a thunder in Ahmedabad, it will rain in Allahabad. Same way – Bomb blast in Hyderabad, ban cameras for just 10 days in Madurai. That too, only during our visit.

 

These government officers, mostly IAS cadre, room pottu yosippanga.

I just give up.

Economy-minus

In the airline industry there was only one class to start with. It was a regular class. Then came two. Economy and Executive. Then came three. Economy, Business, First Class. Then they added one more. Premium Economy. Now they are thinking of adding one more class. Economy-minus. I do not know the facilities available in that class. But they are thinking on the following lines:

 

Smallest seats.

No Itinerary change or refunds.

No free carry-on bag.

Meals, snacks, soda, water, and entertainment are extra.

No advance seat assignment.

 

Since my job is to give unsolicited advice to the airlines, here are my suggestions:

 

To get into the plane, you have to climb a rope hung from the back door.

 

Pay for the use of toilets.

 

If you don’t want to use toilet, you can buy a diaper at a discount. No you cannot bring your own diaper from home. At the end of the flight you have to pay for disposal. Disposing solid waste will cost more than the liquid.

 

Rent a chair to sit in the plane. No you cannot bring your own chair.

 

If you want to sleep on the floor, that will be extra.

 

Discount if you are a standing passenger holding on to the upper rails.

 

Seat belts will cost extra. But it is mandatory.

 

Price will be based on the weight of the passenger.

 

Next, we are thinking of cargo class. Put the passengers in the cargo area.

 

You have to pay extra for us to rip your baggage handle.

 

Want to sit together with your family/friends, pay extra. (We have hired additional staff to look into family travel and group travel and made sure they are allotted seats in different rows.) (You see, we are creating job opportunities for useless undergraduates.)

 

And, lastly but not the leastly, pay extra to recline your seat back. The exact fee depends upon how much recline degree you want. Assuming a 5 degree reclining in an economy seat, you will have to pay $5 for each degree to a total of $25 for a full 5 degree reclining. Each plane will have a Reclining Engineer to measure the angle and charge the passenger. (You see, we are creating job opportunities for engineering undergraduates.)

 

If you have any ideas, please let me know and I will pass them along to the airline industry.

Muhammad Ali

Boxing great Muhammad Ali passed away.

May he rest in peace.

PS: I took Rajesh's suggestion and here are a few points I know of Mr. Ali:

Born Cassius Clay and converted to Islam.

3 times heavyweight champion of the world.

Eloquent, Colorful, Controversial and Brilliant.

He was known as “The Greatest”.

Refused induction into the U.S. Army because he stated he was a conscientious objector.

Had Parkinson’s disease due to repeated blows to his head.

He is famous for his quotes. The following 3 are my personal favorites:

He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.

I don't have to be what you want me to be.

If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.